need another drink. this is the easiest way
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
