We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
