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Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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