Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
