i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
So apparently I’m into choking now
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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