Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
