Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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