Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize