Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
