Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
