RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
