wakey wakey hands off snakey
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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