idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
