HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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