dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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