that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
