you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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