so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
