I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
