Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
