We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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