I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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