Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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