So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm at about main and main street
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
