weddingsv make me drug and hornr
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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