As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
