when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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