I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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