Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
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