I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
