I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
