I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
