yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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