how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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