Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
