I would go down on you faster than GM stock
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
did you just send me my own nude
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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