Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
