Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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