im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
