i would punch a child for taco bell
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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