We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
