thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
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