Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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