Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
