This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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