Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
