me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
