New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
