i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
