so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
