So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
