im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
