If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
