My first STD was from a foam party
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
