My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
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I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
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It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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