sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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